Funtime Veggie Melts


Originally posted May 2nd, 2014

Presenting Funtime’s Veggie Melts. An open-faced cheese experience worth staying up late for.


  • 1 red bell pepper, julienned
  • 6 shiitake mushrooms, sliced
  • 1 yellow squash, cut into thin rounds
  • 4 cloves garlic, diced
  • 1 cup vidalia onion, chopped
  • 4 quarter-inch slices of beefsteak tomato
  • 1 cup roughly chopped spinach
  • 1 cup sliced mozzarella
  • 1 cup sliced Edam cheese
  • 2 tsp olive oil
  • 2 tbsp oregano
  • 4 slices of whole wheat


  1. Lightly toast bread until it is only slightly browned and remove from toaster. You need it stiff, not fully toasted (yet).
  2. Marinate red peppers, mushrooms, and yellow squash in olive oil, then remove peppers and squash from oil. Roast the peppers and squash on a greased baking pan at 250° for ten minutes.
  3. Sautè garlic, mushrooms, onions, and chopped spinach in olive oil until onions soften. Separate from olive oil and set aside.
  4. Place one tomato slice on each piece of bread. Lay roasted red peppers and yellow squash over tomato, then the garlic, mushrooms, onions, and spinach over that.
  5. Layer mozzarella, Edam cheese, or whatever other gooey, meltable cheesiness you like over that, then drizzle leftover olive oil over the cheese.
  6. Sprinkle oregano over everything. Now, before passion overtakes you and your shaking hands force these morsels in your quivering mouth, restrain yourself and place them back in the oven.
  7. Watch them. Watch them closely. Watch the cheese melt, relax, and eeeease into the space between your vegetables, the cracks of the tomato. Watch your oregano flakes couch themselves into the soft bed of cheese, happy to sink into cheesy oblivion. Watch the cheese melt.
  8. Take them out. Put them on a plate. Eat them. And when you regain consciousness in three days, tell me what you saw while you were away.