A Prayer To Our Lord Cheesus

Sweet Cheesus, Lord of my life, I kneel before You now with this tribute to but a few of Your many forms. For You are as multitudinous as You are wonderful, and each of Your avatars be more glorious than the last.

With this offering, I present to You a mere 20 minutes of my life, 10 of which were spent over a hot stove, the rest in preparation. I gathered the finest of Your varietals from my humble refrigerator, now blessed to be Your carriage: sharp cheddarspicy pepperjack, and crumbly truckle

Truly, Thou art as versatile as thou art gooey, for Thou also art in the blue cheese herb mustard of this oblation. Though You exist not in my mayonnaise, surely we must weigh the things in our lives in which You are absent against those sanctified by Your presence, to better understand Your divine nature by way of omission.

Finally, Thy goodly servants and faithful companions, Spanish Chorizo and Smoked Turkey round out this act of puja, this holy sandwich given up on whole wheat in Your name.

For I did let Your venerated cousin, butter, simmer in a pan on medium-low heat until fully melted, and I did lay 2 slices of the bread within the pan upon the butter’s deliquescence. 

I then laid the cheddar, the truckle, and the pepperjack upon the bread, hereafter consecrated by virtue of Your conveyance, and laid upon them Your stalwart followers, chorizo and turkey. 

I then laid the other slice of bread upon the first, and let it simmer in the butter until brown on both sides (yay, which was approximately 3-5 minutes), adding more of the sacrosanct dairy as needed to ensure a pool of liquified ghee.

Lord Cheesus, light and star of my life, guide me as it is I guide Your holy quiddity in its whole wheat vessel to my lips. For Thou art delicious, and Thou art gooey, and Thou art mind-blowing. Holy Cheesus, Most High, grant me the strength to survive Your most generous blessing upon my humble tastebuds, and the stamina to go on to make another, as this prayerful recipe makes only enough for one person, and I most certainly need two servings.

As it is, and as it shall be,

Amen.